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Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Practice re-crafting Aldoras Paragraph

This is Aldoras Blog where you can see more of her storys

Today we practiced recrafting a piece of writing.The first paragraph belongs to Aldora and the second one is mine.

As we were getting near some more puddles, I realised that the track was dangerous. Jogging carefully down the slippery stairs I nearly slipped but luckily I held onto the tree. I was happily saved by the tree.


As I ran up towards the stairs, I reached some-more muddy puddles.Looking down at my shoes, they were all dirty and gross.  “Wow this is a very scary and yucky race” I thought to myself as I ran through the squishy grass.

1 comment:

Iron said...

Hey Jennifer,

You worked hard on making your sentence beginning in difference ways. You made a good effort for using topic words. Do you like re crafting stories? Well I do.
Keep it up Jenny!!!

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